


All We Have

by straykitten



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Arguments, Bang Chan Needs A Hug, Bang Chan-centric, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kim Woojin-centric, M/M, jyp let my boys rest, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straykitten/pseuds/straykitten
Summary: Woojin couldn’t sleep. His sleeplessness wasn’t caused by his anxiety, for once. The worry pooling in his gut wasn’t unfounded anxiety, it was completely logical. Chan had gone to the gym at one, and then the studio at around three. It was nearing midnight and there was still no sign of him, not even a message saying he was okay. Woojin knew that his boyfriend could get tunnel vision when it came to working on music, but he usually checked in at least every few hours. Woojin tossed and turned for a few more minutes until deciding to fuck it and go get Chan himself.OrChan is Tired and Woojin is the caring boyf we all need





	All We Have

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaneshiwon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaneshiwon/gifts).



> This is for my friend kaneshiwon, hopefully it isn't too bad oof. it's currently hella late and I've only proofread once but that's fine.
> 
> TW for yelling and mention of self destructive tendencies

Woojin couldn’t sleep. His sleeplessness wasn’t caused by his anxiety, for once. The worry pooling in his gut wasn’t unfounded anxiety, it was completely logical. Chan had gone to the gym at one, and then the studio at around three. It was nearing midnight and there was still no sign of him, not even a message saying he was okay. Woojin knew that his boyfriend could get tunnel vision when it came to working on music, but he usually checked in at least every few hours. Woojin tossed and turned for a few more minutes until deciding to fuck it and go get Chan himself. 

He rolled gracelessly off of his bed, trying not to wake up the boys around him still soundly sleeping. Woojin pulled hoodie he was wearing earlier that day back on and pocketed his phone. He laced up his shoes and reached for the doorknob, but hesitated. Chan was an adult, he could take care of himself. Woojin walked back into the living room and flopped bodily onto the couch. He sighed heavily and ran his hands through his tangled hair. Woojin pulled out his phone, figuring that he’d at least try to call Chan before charging into the studio like some white knight. 

He opened his contacts and scrolled to the contact labelled ‘Channie <3’. He pressed the call icon and prayed that Chan would pick up and cease his worrying. Woojin’s heart dropped when the call was declined after only ringing for a few seconds, and he was up and out the door before he really knew he was moving. The walk to the JYP building from the dorms wasn’t too far, so Woojin didn’t bother waking up a manager to drive him. He shot a quick text to Minho and Changbin saying he was out and telling them not to worry and to take care of the younger boys.

It was past midnight by now, so Woojin ran the rest of the way to the studio. Even though the building was in a relatively safe neighbourhood, nowhere in Seoul was truly safe at night, especially if you’re unlucky enough to be alone. 

Woojin made it to the building around five minutes later, red-faced and out of breath. He bowed to the poor receptionist who got saddled with the night shift and ran up the stairs. He would take the elevator, but it was too slow and Chan’s studio was only three floors up. The route to the small studio was muscle memory at this point, so Woojin could let his mind wander as he rushed up the stairs. Would he find Chan passed out over his computer, or maybe once again walk in on him slamming his head on the desk in some sort of twisted punishment for thinking he’s not good enough? Woojin’s gut twisted as he pushed open the heavy door leading to the third floor. He ran the short distance down the hall and burst into the studio, not bothering to knock.

Chan wasn’t in his normal position on the desk chair, or sprawled out on the couch. Woojin furrowed his brow as he scanned the room for any sign of his boyfriend. He was about to leave and go search the bathrooms before he heard a small sniffle. 

Woojin’s heartbeat that had only just begun to slow picked up again. He cautiously walked over to Chan’s desk and noticed the sniffling get louder as he got closer. Woojin peered over the edge of the desk and would have gasped, but the sound got stuck in his throat.

Chan was curled up in the space where the desk meets the wall. He was still in his workout clothes from earlier that morning, so he must have been freezing, and the ice cold air conditioning that blasted through the building all year certainly wouldn’t be helping. 

Woojin fell to his knees and scooted over to Chan’s hunched form.  
“Channie, angel, what’s the matter?” Woojin asked, softly, heart breaking when he saw Chan’s puffy eyes and tear-tracked cheeks. 

Chan shakily smiled and opened his mouth, probably to spout some bullshit assurance that he was fine, before his face fell and he started sobbing. He lunged forward and buried his head in a startled Woojin’s neck, who then hesitantly wrapped his arms around the sobbing boy, tightening his arms when he felt Chan grip his shirt in his hands. 

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere,” Woojin murmured into Chan’s ear, “you’re okay, you’re okay,”  
“No,” Chan choked out, “I’m not! I’m not! God fucking dammit!” He weakly hit Woojin’s chest, but Woojin didn’t take offense. He just held Chan even tighter, rubbing his large hand up and down the smaller boy’s back. Chan’s hands threaded in Woojin’s hair as his sobs slowed to sniffles and hiccups. As the sniffles died away, Woojin stopped moving his hand, but quickly started again when he felt Chan tense up in his hold. 

“Can you tell me what’s wrong, angel?” Woojin asked softly. Chan exhaled harshly and, after a moment, nodded.

“Our manager talked to me today, said JYP wanted us to have another comeback in three months,” Chan said, voice barely above a whisper. Woojin quickly switched from concern to rage. They just had their comeback, what, a month ago? Comebacks were hard on everyone, between the schedules, practices, performances, sleepless nights, and in some cases, diets, but it was hardest on 3RACHA, and out of those three, it was hardest on Chan. He had to make the songs, supervise the creation of the choreography, memorize their schedules, make sure all of the other members were taken care of and on track, and so much more. 

“It’ll be okay, we can do it. Jisung has been teaching Minho about producing, and Hyunjin and Felix have started helping Minho with choreography. You aren’t alone in this, angel,” Woojin stilled his hands and pulled Chan away from him, looking him in the eye to make sure his words were hitting home.

“That’s just it though!” Chan jumped up, suddenly fired up, “They shouldn’t have to help! They didn’t ask to be in a group that was so independent, they didn’t want the extra work! Not even Changbin and Jisung really asked for it, I should be able to do it on my own! It isn’t fair!” Chan growled and kicked the leg of the couch and began pacing the room. He pulled harshly at his hair, causing Woojin to jump up.  
“Hey, you don’t need to do that,” Woojin gently pried Chan’s hands away from his head and pulled him into his chest again.

“I know, I’m just... tired. So fucking tired.” Chan laughed, but it was empty, humorless.

“How about we head back to the dorm? It’s late and we can talk about this tomorrow,” Before Chan could protest, Woojin spoke again, “You won’t get anything decent done at this point anyway. You must be exhausted, you haven’t been home for twelve hours.”

Upon seeing Chan’s defeated nod, an idea sparked in Woojin’s mind. He turned around and crouched down slightly.

“Hop on, angel,” Woojin requested. Chan looked at him as if he couldn’t tell if he was serious. When he saw the look on Woojin’s face, he shook his head and allowed a ghost of a smile to grace his features. 

“Actually, wait.” Woojin pulled his hoodie over his head and handed it to Chan, who slipped it on without protest, which was a testament to how cold and tired he must have been.  
Chan gently hopped on Woojin’s back. Woojin gripped Chan’s thighs and hoisted him up further, making the younger squeak in surprise. 

Chan swatted Woojin’s shoulder, “What, are you gonna carry me all the way home?” He asked sarcastically.

“Yes.” Woojin said, leaving no room for argument. Chan giggled and pressed his face into the back of Woojin’s neck. They made their way down the hallway, but Woojin made the call to take the elevator this time around. They spent the elevator ride in companionable silence, occasionally giggling when they remembered the ridiculous position they were in. 

The elevator dinged to a stop and Woojin walked out of the elevator, periodically bouncing Chan up on his back so he wouldn’t drop the smaller boy. They spent the walk back chatting about nothing in particular, but Chan fell silent halfway home. Woojin craned his neck to check up on him, and outwardly cooed when he saw that his boyfriend had fallen asleep on his back. 

Woojin spent the rest of the walk home treading carefully so he didn’t wake up the boy on his back. Once he got off the last elevator of the night and was faced with the locked door to the dorm, Woojin realized he was in a bit of a predicament. He gingerly fished his keys from his pocket, and thanked himself for going to the gym so he was strong enough to carry Chan on his back with one arm. 

The lock slid open, and if Woojin was able to divide his attention away from not waking Chan, he might have noticed the shuffling and whispering coming from the other side of the door. Woojin softly opened the door and gently shut it, praying that Chan wouldn’t be hit against any walls as he navigated the dark hallway. Woojin kicked his shoes off and followed the murmur of voices to the living room. He turned the corner to see everyone awake and cuddled up on the couch. 

“Hyung!” Jeongin yelled as he jumped up from his spot on the couch.

“SSH!” Woojin spat aggressively, “You’ll wake Chan!” 

“What? Chan hyung?” Jisung asked, bewildered but quiet.

Woojin stepped further into the living room, letting the others see Chan soundly asleep on his back, legs wrapped around his middle and arms around his shoulders. Some of the members cooed at Chan’s sleeping face cushioned in Woojin’s shoulder, while others looked on in confusion.

“I’d ask why you’re all up, but he’s had a long day and needs an actual bed. We have some things to talk about tomorrow, so I’d suggest that you all go to sleep, but I’d prefer if you stay out of Chan’s room.” Woojin’s words made everyone spring into action, quietly taking in refugees from Chan’s room and shuffling off to bed. 

Woojin called for Felix to open the door to the bedroom, not wanting to risk dropping Chan if he didn’t have to. Once the door was open, Woojin darted in and gently detangled Chan’s limbs from his body and plopped him on his bed. This made Chan barely fall back into consciousness.

“Wojinnie, are you leaving?” He whined petulantly, making grabby hands at his boyfriend.

“No, angel, just closing the door. I’ll be right back.” Woojin shut the door and walked back to the bed, gently pulling off Chan’s sneakers before climbing into bed and covering both boys with the thick covers. Chan was nearly asleep again, but before he drifted off, he whispered,  
“Thanks for coming to get me, I love you,”  
“I love you too angel, now go to sleep.”

 

The next morning, Woojin woke up slowly. The first thing he noticed was the weight across his middle. The second thing was that what woke him up was sunlight filtering across his face, which meant that it was late in the morning. On a normal day, this would send Woojin into a panic. They had schedules to keep and places to be, but this was not a normal day. The weight on his waist, which he identified to be Chan’s arm, slowly shifted away.

“Wooj? What time is it?” Chan asked, his voice scratchy and low from sleep. 

“I don’t know. Maybe nine or ten?” Woojin answered, his voice just as croaky. Chan hummed in response. His calmness told Woojin that they didn’t have anything scheduled that morning, so they didn’t need to rush to wake up. Both boys were content to lay in bed and enjoy each other’s presence for a while longer, but that blissful train of thought went screaming off the rails when they heard arguing outside the door.

Chan groaned and slammed his head into the pillow. He rolled out of bed to go deal with whatever was going down between the younger members. As Chan shuffled out of the room, Woojin smiled at the sight of his boyfriend still wearing the blue hoodie that was way too large for him. His grin dropped when he remembered the difficult conversation he would be having with the kids later in the day.

With that thought in mind, Woojin decided to help Chan with the others and climbed out of bed. He stretched his arms way up above his head and groaned in contentment when he felt his back crack.

The sight that greeted Woojin made him stop in his tracks. Changbin and Felix were cuddling on the couch, Jisung was doing a handstand on the coffee table yelling something about how he told Felix he could, Minho was eating his usual breakfast of Rice Krispies in orange juice (Woojin couldn’t look at it for too long without gagging), and Jeongin was riding Hyunjin’s shoulders while Seungmin chased them with an electric flyswatter. 

Woojin quickly made his way to the kitchen, where he found Chan staring into his coffee like it called his mother a horrible name.

“Hey angel, you okay?” Woojin came behind Chan and wrapped him in a tight bear hug, which were, of course, his specialty. 

“Yeah, I just...” Chan sighed and dropped his head, “I don’t know how I’m going to look the kids in the eye and tell them we have to prepare for another comeback.”

Woojin hummed and rested his chin on Chan’s shoulder. 

“They’ll know it wasn’t your choice. You’re the most overworked one out of all of us, you need a break too!”

“Yeah, but I chose this! I wanted to be independent!” Chan said, voice raising in volume. He pulled himself out of Woojin’s hold and ran his hand through his messy hair. Woojin knew that the anger in Chan’s voice wasn’t directed at him, but he couldn’t help but get irritated.

“Maybe it was your choice, but we wanted it too! Did you ever think about that? We didn’t have to follow you, but we did!” Woojin said, his voice matching Chan’s in aggression. The living room had gone silent, but the two arguing members didn’t notice.

“Even if they all wanted us to do everything ourselves, that doesn’t mean that I feel good about dumping another goddamn comeback on them every two months! They’re kids, Woojin! God, I’m 21 and I can barely handle it, I can’t imagine how it is for them!” 

“Chan-” Woojin tried to cut in, now noticing that they had an audience.

“No, Woojin! They shouldn’t have to pick up the slack because I can’t get my head out of my ass long enough to help with some choreography and make some damn songs!”

Chan’s voice had gotten progressively louder, but there were tears shimmering in his eyes. Woojin didn’t want to keep fighting like this with the kids listening, but even if they went somewhere else, they’d surely press up against the wall to listen anyway. Woojin took a deep breath, reminding himself that Chan didn’t need anger, he needed comfort, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

“Chan, angel, it’s their jobs to choreograph and make songs and everything else that comes with being an idol. They’ll be okay.” Woojin soothed, hoping that Chan could see sense.

To his shock, tears started spilling over Chan’s cheeks. He angrily wiped at his face before angrily protesting again, “They have school! They have families, and lives, and friends! They’re still kids, Wooj-”

 

“Dammit Chan, you’re a kid too! We’re still basically fuckin’ kids too! Why don’t you deserve a break? You may think you’re responsible for everything that has ever happened to us, but every single one of us could have walked away of we wanted to! We knew what we were getting in to! You need to let us help you!” Woojin didn’t mean to start yelling again, but it made him so upset that Chan didn’t understand that he wasn’t alone. 

Chan turned around so his back was to Woojin as he started to sob for the second time in as many days. 

“Oh, angel...” Woojin sighed. He touched Chan lightly on the shoulder, silently asking if he could hug the smaller boy. A choked sob left Chan’s lips, which was all the permission woojin needed to gently turn the leader around and tuck him into his chest. He rocked back and forth, rubbing up and down Chan’s back the way he liked. 

“Hyungs?” Seungmin’s quiet voice from the kitchen door interrupted the intense moment.

Chan and Woojin looked up and saw the members looking in with concern, confusion, and embarrassment at intruding on a clearly private moment.

“What’s wrong? Why is Chan hyung crying?” Seungmin asked, concern painted across his face.

Chan cleared his throat and pushed himself away from Woojin. He scrubbed at his face, trying to remove the evidence of his breakdown.

“Hyung isn’t crying, don’t worry. Nothing’s wrong.” The exasperated glance Woojin threw to Chan made him backtrack. “Okay, yeah, I was. There’s just... Let’s go to the living room, I need to talk to you all about something.” Despite them being little shits, the kids knew when to push and when to just listen and do as they’re told, so they almost silently made their way to the living room, rattled by the sight of their leader sobbing in the kitchen.

“Hold on, let me help you with something.” Woojin halted Chan’s movement before he could join the others in the living room. He wet a paper towel and gently scrubbed the tear stains from Chan’s face, replacing them with a faint blush.

“Thanks,” Chan said softly. He grabbed Woojin’s hand and led him to the living room. 

Chan sat in his usual spot on the overstuffed recliner while Woojin tried to squish himself in between Jeongin and Minho.

“Okay,” Chan sighed once everyone was settled, “I have some...” He shook his head. “I was talking to the manager yesterday and he told me that JYP scheduled another comeback for us very soon.”

“How soon is ‘soon’?” Changbin asked, voice hesitant.

Chan smiled wryly, “July, so three months.” Indignant muttering broke out among the younger members. “I’m sorry, I tried to get it pushed back, but I can keep trying if that timeframe isn’t doable.”

“Hyung, we know it isn’t your fault.” Minho assured the leader, “If anyone here would be against another comeback so soon, it would be you, and I don’t mean that at all disrespectfully.” 

“Yeah, I’m just sorry that you all always have to work so hard. I thought that after our first year we might be able to slow our schedule a bit, but it doesn’t seem to be happening yet.” Chan shook his head again, a nervous habit that he does whenever he’s trying to contain his emotions.

“But we can all help!” Hyunjin blurted out, “I know that it’s usually you, Minho hyung, Changbin hyung, and Jisung doing all the hard work but we’ve been learning!”

Chan smiled, for real this time, at Hyunjin’s enthusiasm. “What do you mean, Jinnie?” He prompted.

“Well, Felix and I have gotten a lot better at choreographing things, so we can help Minho hyung with that! And I know Sungie has been showing him how to produce, and Woojin hyung has been learning too!” Hyunjin said giddily, the mentioned members nodding along in agreement.

Chan raised his eyebrows at Woojin. He didn’t know that the older had been learning how to produce music, and was quite surprised by the admission.

“And,” Hyunjin plowed on, “Min and Innie have gotten really good at writing lyrics! Have you seen any of their stuff? It’s amazing!”

“Hyung!” Jeongin whined at the praise. Chan had known that the two youngest were practicing their songwriting, but he didn’t realize how much progress they had made. 

Chan took a moment to think about how lucky he was that his team was full of hardworking, amazing people. He must have been silent for a long time, because Felix called out to him, concern lacing his tone.

“Chan hyung? You okay?” Chan nodded and breathed in deeply.

“Yeah, I’m just really thankful that I have all of you on this team. I don’t think I would be able to do this without all of you.”

“Hyung, if all we have is each other, we have to be a pretty damn good family.” Changbin said, half-joking and half-serious.

“Group hug!” Minho yelled, pulling everyone in. Someone grabbed Chan’s arm and tugged him into what was more a huge cuddle pile, but none of them were complaining.

Chan locked eyes with Woojin and grinned.

Everything was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Fingers crossed that it wasn't horrible! Leave your thoughts in the comments, and if you have any suggestions for future fics, let me know!
> 
> (my tumblr is straykittenposts, come yell at me)


End file.
